Well hello there lovely readers (if there are any). Surprised? NO. Oh yea, I can't blame you. I've been MIA for the longest time and it honestly feels like it's been decades since my last post, but forgive me for the hiatus (more like hibernation). I've been busy...and yes, that is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
As per what I've been telling you, I'm a first year medical student. It's HARD. Well, at least for me. But I'm really fortunate and blessed to be one. My first year in medical school is truly overwhelming. It's probably light years different from when I was in college mainly because of the amount of the material that needs to be studied. At first, I was honestly very excited to go to school because it was a new environment to adapt to and I was psyched to see the difference between undergraduate and post graduate studies. Well, I was really surprised to say the least. I was a Psychology major in college and when it was very unusual to see Psych majors taking up Medicine, I was willing to try my best and give my 100%.
But all of that changed when the first semester progressed. Three-hour lectures in Biochemistry, 100+ students in one section/class, terror doctors, face to face with human cadavers, 7am classes, practice sessions, know-it-all classmates, messed up schedules in ICM and Ethics, mataray department secretaries, endless expenses for photocopies, prints and manuals and overwhelming topics. Well I guess that sums it all up.
I was thinking, Wow, what in the world did I get myself into? This was not what I expected.
I can't count all the moments when "QUITTING" came into my thoughts. After the first major exams, I was crying because of the low scores that I got, let alone the thought that my sleepless nights didn't pay off at all. I felt inferior when my Physiology professor/doctor asked me what my pre-med course was and all my small group discussion groupmates' were licensed nurses, pharmacists and the like and I was the "Psycho", as to what my professor/doctor called me. I felt so small. I couldn't understand 70% of the material and I was bound to give up. But people around me constantly reminded me that I was to be the first doctor in our family and that I am blessed to be given this opportunity.
Now, I'm still here, struggling but managing. And I do hope that I can move forward. This the dawn of my new beginning. I swore to myself and to God that I will be a doctor, I can be a doctor and I AM A DOCTOR.
P.S: Sorry for the rant. Blog again soon. Finals week is coming. Give it to me.
XX,
Hannah D.R, MD (future)
