FEAR

I am apologizing to you guys for not posting something here on my brand new blog for a really long time. Honestly, it's not that I'm busy with school or anything, it's just that I can't think of anything to post. I am blanked out for the past few days and I haven't had anything to celebrate, except for the fact that I have put up a small home based business.

Honestly, I am not in the mood to be happy about anything. Call me depressed or sad and all that, but it's what I am currently feeling. Been feeling down for the past weeks. Maybe because it's the pressure I get from the coming up NMAT exams. I am really nervouse because this is the first time I'm taking it and probably the last. I regret not taking it last April :( Anyways, I have to review now because the exam is two days away and finals are coming up too. Too much pressure, yes. But this morning I was a bit uplifted with our lesson in Theology 4. My current professor is a Singaporean substitute for my original professor who is currently in the hospital because of stroke. My current professor shared a lot of things today that somehow gave me encouragement. Expectations are really killing me. And I think it's not from my parents or my parents pushing me to pursue medicine, it's me. I am my own fear. Our professor said some things about expectations that gave me smile. He gave the meaning of fear;

F - False

E - Expectations

A - Appearing

R - Real

It opened my eyes. I was seeing false expectations for myself, and now I realize that I am the one bringing myself down. It's not them, it's me. So now, I am pushing myself to see clearly, to be able to shove all the false expectations behind and see what's real. I am praying to God for guidance.

Thanks for enduring my lengthy post, and please pray for me so that I can get a very high score in my NMAT exam! :)

I'll leave you with this.

“Call on me in prayer and I will answer you. I will show you great and mysterious things which you still do not know about” (Jer. 33:3).

Cheers!